The Good, Bad and Ugly Advice Given When You Have A Baby

While I was pregnant, Oprah Winfrey had a show talking about the truths about parenthood people don’t talk about. I was appalled and thought the women selected were all entitled folks who were soft, because my mom made parenting look so effortless. I learned soon enough how many truths were shared.

Anyhow, I began getting advice the moment people discovered I was pregnant and some of those things I will share here:

• Always remain happy while pregnant because the baby feels everything you feel. Stay away from toxic people, relationships, etc.. — I did this and had to cut ties with some people, but I must say my baby was a happy baby overall.
• While you’re pregnant, you should figure out your childcare situation because the 2-3 months after having the baby will come and go very quickly — true, I had a nanny type set up which lasted a month and had to scramble for childcare when she resigned giving us a week to find alternatives.
• Read to your child from the day he/she is born –— one of the best things I’ve done was to read to my son making it a bedtime ritual. Not only was it our bonding time, but it expanded his vocabulary and provided us time to discuss things/ideas, etc.. As my son got older, 5th grade or so, I would still read books to him and some of the books were completely out of range for me (like Physics), and he would get it.
• Never underestimate what your child is learning at any age, so expose them to as much as possible. — A friend began taking her baby to the zoo, museums, etc. when he was under 3 years old. I’m not sure if it made a difference, but certainly it didn’t hurt.
• Travel with your child and expose him/her to the world. — My husband and I were going to Europe and took our 8 year old. Colleagues said we were crazy for taking him with us, but it was the best thing we could have done. Our son ended up showing an interest in different languages, he recalls things we saw in Greece at museums, the ruins and other things. He’s learned so much and builds on his knowledge all of the time in different ways. It also allowed him to build on the things he saw and learned about and has increased his curiosity and compassion in the world at large.
• Trust your instincts because you know your child better than anyone — Best advice I had ever. I only wish I trusted and acted on my instincts even more, but I’ve finally done this after 12 years.
• Don’t allow your child to question what you say — I encourage my child to question everything he doesn’t understand for learning and/or for clarity.
• It’s good if your child doesn’t get good grades because if they got all A’s, then they wouldn’t have anything to learn or will be beyond his/her classmates — Wrong! Get your child assistance in subjects he/she needs help with and if the child outgrows the classroom, discuss other things your school can do like pull out your kid for subjects to study at a higher level, make a double and/or find a school that specializes with kids like yours.
• Buy all of the latest learning games that are advertised so your child doesn’t fall behind. — False. Advertisers play on the insecurity of new parents. Certainly get learning games, but for what makes sense. When my baby was born, “Baby Einstein” was the rage. I have to tell you, that was the best 30 minutes in a day so I could take a quick shower because he was enthralled by the shapes and music.
• The best thing you can do for your child is love them — I completely agree! Best advice ever!
• Have “The Talk” with teachers at the beginning of the school year. — Great advice! My husband and I make an appointment with the teacher and let him/her know we have high expectations of our child and consider our relationship with the school/teacher a partnership.

There are lots more, but I will share more later.